The things that shape us

As I reflect back over the semester, I think about how much I looked forward to each class.  I’m not sure I’ve had a class that I’ve looked forward to as much as this one. Each class seemed to have interesting and informative discussion that always intrigues my interest.  That’s not easy to do after working all day and then switching gears and being able to contribute to a discussion and sound intelligent about it.  I grow sad as I think I will not see our group any more, other than the few that are in the adult learning program, and if I am accepted into the program.  But I shall miss our discussions and seeing everyone.  I think we have a great group where everyone brings a fascinating aspect to each subject we explore.  I have especially enjoyed my blog buddies and hope we can keep in touch.

As I was reading situated cognition for our homework, it reminded me of when I first started to work at VCU in 1997.  I knew nothing about public relations.  However, as I look back, I can see how much I have blended in with the job and its surroundings.  I’ve always prided myself on being able to watch someone or something and be able to turn around and do it that exact same way.  That is also how I have learned everything I know about public relations.  All of PR writing is in Associated Press (AP) style, which is very different from any formal writing that I know and that is probably the one area I still have the most to learn about.  Thankfully, I have had two very bright and intelligent directors that have taught me most of what I know.  My boss actually calls me ‘Radar’ because as I scan through each day’s news, I can always pick out items of interest or community news that I think will be of interest to the administration.  I have no idea how I’m able to that other than I listen to all the areas the administration is working on or items that are currently or have been controversial so they can be aware of what is being said about them.

I think I am just doing my job, but my boss says I have great insight with the PR world, so as long as they think so, its ok with me.

For power and oppression and their effects on adult learning in my workplace, I am reminded of the position our office, VCU Communications and Public Relations, is in working very closely with the president of the university, and rightly so with the president wanting more national recognition for the university.  I think the entire division has been going through some adult learning while trying to get used to our new president, and a new and different power emanating from his office.  Its a learning curve that requires us to be more open-minded and more aware of how this power is being used differently from the previous president.  I haven’t felt like the power from the top is being abused as much as previously.  This is a good thing, at least for now.  The atmosphere feels more laid back and technology is being used more so that operations are running a little more efficiently.  There have been a few drawbacks, but nothing that I am able to go into detail about.

As far as oppression I think are biggest factor is the state budget, which, of course, affects the entire university.  Our staff is not able to participate in a lot professional training or development in order to better themselves and there is no on-the-job-training.  Also with the budget problems comes no raises.  I’m wondering how long they think employees are going to put up with this treatment and still feel like they are making a difference while keeping up the same pace or even doubling or tripling their work load.  Yes, I am very thankful that I still have a good job with benefits, but the state employees are always the ones that take the brunt of the cuts for the good of the state, supposedly.

While I still feel that adult learning is taking place, its probably not as much as it could be, which is sad.

I could write a book on all the things I was misguided about as I was growing up.  My poor mother, she did the best she could, but she had some strange beliefs.  The first major belief she had was that all men were bad and sex was just for having children.  I’m pretty sure I don’t have to go any farther with that thought except to say it was very traumatic when I learned the truth about that.

When I was growing up, I thought my mother knew everything and was right about everything.  Boy, was I wrong.  I was very naive and had a very strict baptist upbringing.  Now don’t get me wrong, religion is  a fine thing, but I never understood why my mother always believed that baptists were the only religion that mattered or was right.

Another major area for me was that my mother had been through some alcohol abuse when she was growing up and she ended up transferring it into mine and my siblings upbringing which resulted in her totally banishing all alcohol from our house and she wouldn’t even go near it if we were out at a restaurant.  Needless to say, when my father died when I was 10 years old, I wasn’t even able to grieve for him until I was 21 years old.  I’ll never forget the feeling when the therapist told me I was an adult child of an alcoholic, not my father, but my grandfather I’d never met.  It was like a light had turned on and there was no more darkness. Things about my life, my mother, the choices I had made (my first husband was abusive) all started to fall into place.

I finally had learned not to be dependent on other people, I gained self-esteem, and I learned how to deal with sexual relationships.

The latest transformation for me was two years ago when I started taking religion classes at J. Sargeant Reynolds Community College.  Truly amazing was to learn religion from a formal setting and just how much historians knew and didn’t know about religion.  I totally changed my view and some of my beliefs.  The Bible may be gospel, but it doesn’t account for everything  in Jesus’ life. I learned about things I would have never thought about asking  because where I come from you didn’t question the Bible.  It was always right and that’s all there was to it.

I have to say that without the help of some dear friends, I would not be the person I am today.  I had very balanced friends that helped me to see past the dark clouds and guide me on the path to self-awareness.  I think I turned out pretty well, considering.

This week was annual performance review week.  I have to say this has become such a waste of time and energy.  Yes, its good that you and your boss can review your performance and go over any areas that need work, but you can do that anytime.  I remember the good old days when a good performance meant a pay increase.  Yes, that was many years ago.  But now its almost depressing that you’re doing more and more and getting the same pay.  Well, I have to say I am probably luckier than most because I know how much my boss and staff appreciate me.  I just really wish there was a reward in there somewhere.  Unfortunately, we better get used to this because I don’t think there are going to be any state raises for at least two more years.  But, we have to be thankful we have a job (I have to do serious thinking about this sometimes).  It probably sounds like I’m rambling back and forth, but I guess I’m trying to be positive even though I know things will not be better for quite a while.  Oh well, there’s always free education at VCU! As long as they keep enough teachers to have classes. 

The scores from my inventory were: Nurturing 36, Apprenticeship 35, Transmission 33, Developmental 31 and Social Reform 27.  My perspective of nurturing could not be more true.  I had a very nurturing mother and even though I don’t have children of my own, I am very nurturing to my dogs (children).

My backup perspective of apprenticeship rings true also.  In fact, when I look at the descriptions of these two, I almost feel like they could intertwine because I am nurturing to the point of making sure someone understands something and then letting go for them to be independent.

Since I am not currently in a teaching role, I will talk about how this relates to my job.  This reminds me of when I train new student workers for our office.  I try to put myself in their shoes and communicate clearly and stay close to them while they are learning all the tasks of the position.  Then, once I feel they have a handle on things, I leave them on their own.  But I always tell them to please ask me any questions on something they don’t understand.  I think it is very important to be kind and understanding when training a new person or showing someone how something works on the computer.  I do not remember having very nurturing teachers when I was growing up.  Most of them were pretty mean, but I am a very emotional person and there were many things going on around me that made me very fragile along with low self-esteem.

I am also a very passionate person and always feel that everyone should have the opportunity to learn new things.  Unfortunately, the world can be a very sad place sometimes and not everyone has the chance to better themselves or the chance to have formal education.

Well, I looked at the syllabus and thought, what the heck am I going to write about, and then it came to me.  Last week in class we were in our groups reading our educational biographies and it felt very strange.  I couldn’t even read mine straight through, I had to go off the page and expand on what I had written!  Anyway, after we had pretty much finished talking with each other, one of the group members said “This is almost like therapy,” and that’s when it hit me.  I have been feeling so comfortable  with this class and couldn’t figure out why.  Now I know.  I’ve struggled with depression most of my life and had a pretty dysfunctional family growing up, so needless to say I’ve been in and out of therapy for about 25 years.

That’s the reason I feel so comfortable in class.  After years of therapy, you’ve learned how to think about yourself and the reason you do certain things.  I had many learned behaviors that were not a good thing as I was growing up, some of which I still have, and some I’ve been able to change.  Granted, I did have a little trouble starting to write the educational biography, but once I got into it, it was similar to writing your life history.

The only difference with this class and my therapy is I have to write it down, which I’m not used to but I’ve had several people tell me it would be good to journal everyday, but I never have been able to enjoy writing very much.  However, this class is really cool because there are no wrong answers – you just write down your thoughts, as long as it pertains to the subject matter in class.

I hope I will learn to enjoy reflecting inward and apply it toward learning a new outlet for my anxiety and depression, and of course, my class work.   I really enjoy everyone in our class.  I think everyone is very interesting and enjoyable to talk to and learn about.  I especially enjoy my blog buddies, Cary and Irene.  Cary has great insight on the subjects we talk about and Irene is just full of ideas and I never get tired of listening to her experiences.

Another thought I realized recently was the fact that even though I think I would enjoy teaching adults, another reason I am applying to this program is not only the goal of obtaining the degree, but also because I felt like I couldn’t pass up the chance for free education.  This is such a incredible benefit from working at VCU.  Plus the timing is right because I really need a new career path, but there is no rush to finish this program – I can go at my own pace.

I’m also curious if most of the classes in this program will be structured the same way – I think I can get used to this.

My first thought about the Kolb Learning Style is that depending on which experience you use to complete the inventory, is going to depend on the outcome. My kite shape resulted in my learning preference being the concrete experience and reflective observation which means I have a diverging style.  I think this observation rings true due to the fact that I must find a solution to a problem myself – especially if I am trying to find the answer for someone else.  I guess that is why I am so good at being an office manager.  Everyone comes to me with their problems to solve, and I actually love doing it!  I have always been very independent, always wanting to do things myself, without any help.

Kolb says that a diverging person is imaginative  – I never really thought of myself as imaginative, in fact, I’ve always thought of myself as unimaginative.  Next it lists understanding people – now that is something I definitely have – the ability to understand people.  I have always felt like a people person.  I am very good at empathizing with people and always seem to be able to understand their feelings and what they are trying to say.  The next characteristic is recognizing problems – I’m pretty sure I am able to do that.  The next item is brainstorming – yes I enjoy that.  And the last is being open-minded, yes I think I do enjoy being open-minded.  I believe it took me a long time to get to the point where I could be open-minded because that was something that did not come easy for me.  I had to work at it.

I have always thought that with each person in the world being different, that is what makes the world go round.  And while I have always had a problem with thinking my way is the only way, its taken a long time for me to realize that by learning different ways to do things and that different people can definitely add to a situation and help you see things from a different perspective.

Oh well, that is why I am here in this class to learn new things.

I have worked at VCU for 11 years as an office manager in the Office of Communications and Public Relations (formerly University News Services).

There are only 11 people in my department, 8 women and 3 men.  Two women are Asian.  I think the demographics we deal with the most would be the faculty, staff and students that we come in contact with.

With my my background being in administrative or clerical roles, I blended in very well with public relations.  Maybe because I have been working for Virginia state government for 24 years and have always been in some type of customer service role.

The public relations specialists in my office write stories for news releases, media advisories and faculty and staff online articles.  This causes them to come in contact with doctors, nurses, professors, students, etc.

Needless to say, with VCU being so diverse, the changing demographics are with us every day.  For technology, our department has had to research and become a part of the changing social media scene.  We set up accounts for VCU public relations and a newsroom area for posting news releases and stories of interest to the outside world.  We tweet on Twitter and post messages on Facebook about current news items and happenings in the university and hospital.

We also take part in a lot of webinars over the computer so that we do not have to travel anywhere to attend a seminar.

For our videographer, he has had to keep up with the changing arena of digitizing videos, and our photographer is digitizing still photos.

The VCU TV/HD department has one full-time producer and the rest of the staff is students that film and produce in-house videos in high-definition.  The HD technology is what the TV stations are now changing to.

Being the communications office of the university and hospital, our office is blessed with sending out emergency communications for the testing of the emergency devices and any emergencies or crises that happen at the university or hospital.  Technology has definitely helped in this area. We are now able to effortlessly send mass mails, text messages, Alertus classroom signs and the web site, the same message within just a few minutes.

And thank goodness we have monthly tests because that is how we learn what works and what does not.

As for globalization, we are being touched by the economic crisis just like everyone else.  The Governor will be slashing our budget again later this month.  We must learn to do without certain supplies, expensive conferences and a lot of the little everyday things.

But, that is the changing world we live within and the cycle of the state budget system.

We will survive, as always, and we will learn to do without certain items, and we will also learn about recycling, reusing and reducing waste.

The reason for this title on my blog is because during the last 15 years I have been extremely interested in how people become the person they are.  There are so many things in our life that determine who we are and how we became that person.  And another reason this interests me is because my mother has Alzheimer’s.  She has been in a nursing home for nine years and each year gets a little worse.

This reason this interests me, besides the fact that she doesn’t know who any of my family is, is because of the way the mind operates when in this demented mode.  Now I haven’t read any of the technical reasons this happens to people, i’m just relating to my experience.  The main thing that intrigues me about this disease is how something or someone can be right in front of the person and they have no idea who it is or what it is.  Or they think they see a totally different object.  I have a hard time with this.  So much that I don’t go to see my mother very much and of course, have major guilt trips about that.  Anyway, it just boggles MY mind how THEIR mind just cannot register objects and people any more.  I wish I could understand because there’s nothing worse than going to see your mother and, to put it bluntly, she’s not your mother any more.

I know we talked about this in class and the brain totally fascinates me.  I will have to read the book Irene suggested, ‘The Female Brain’ – it sounds very interesting.